Lost myself with you
by Dellinah
Summary: (Set on the show finale) He lost his memory to save his family. At first, Stan remembered Waddles. Then he remembered Soos. After that, he remembered the kids. However, he can't seem to remember who Ford is. And Ford didn't know how much it could hurt to lose a brother... Like when Stan lost him a long time ago. Will Stan remember who his brother is? (Ford/Stan brotherly one-shot).


**Warning: may contain some spoilers to the finale.**

 **I still haven't gotten over the fact that Gravity falls is over. Like, the finale was perfect and it gave me so many feels, but at the same time I want more! It feels so weird that there won't be new episodes for us to watch. Still, I'm really happy that Stan and Ford hugged it out! And I'm so happy that they will see each other again.**

 **Anyway, even if it was perfect, I still got feels. I imagined this happening and nearly cried, so I decided to write and publish it. I hope you guys like it!**

* * *

"It's working!" Ford gasped with enthusiasm, "Keep reading!"

Stan sat back down on the couch and paid fierce attention to each picture his supposed niece showed him and to each word she said. Some people in the pictures seemed awfully familiar - even if he couldn't remember where he had seen them before - and so did some events the little girl described in her happy and high pitched voice; but most of what he saw was unknown to him.

Mabel closed her scrapbook and looked hopefully at her great-uncle.

"Come on, you remember us now, right? You've already remembered Waddles and Soos! I'm Mabel, this is Dipper and this is Ford!" Mabel said, pointing to each person around them as she said their names. "We're your family, you have to remember us!"

Stan didn't do anything but look around and take in the faces he saw. Mabel's hopeful smile disappeared at his silence.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel looked up at him and laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking him softly. "You _do_ remember us, right?"

"Mabel, don't push too far." Ford said as he adjusted his glasses, softly taking Mabel's hand away from Stan's shoulder. "It's already a miracle that he got to remember anything at all; it may take a while before he can remember more... If he even remembers anything else at all. We should just give him some more time."

"But we don't have time! Summer ends after tomorrow!" Dipper yelled; jumping out of the couch. "Come on, we just defeated a crazy end of the world that was started by a one-eyed giant triangle demon after connecting two dimensions together! Helping Stan get his memory back should be a piece of cake for us!"

Stan was startled at the boy's sudden explosion, and even more when Dipper approached him and stood in front of him, looking up at him in the eye. Dipper had tears on the corner of his eyes, but he wiped them away before taking a deep breath and taking off his cap. Stan blinked in surprise when Dipper handed the cap to him.

"Come on, Grunkle Stan!" Dipper said as Stan took the cap in his hands and looked at it. "You gave me this, remember? You said I could pick something from the store and I picked this! Back when we were trying to defeat Bill, the pine tree represented me because of this cap! Don't you remember it?"

Stan looked at the cap for a few more seconds before looking at the girl by his side and at the boy in front of him. Their eyes were so filled with hope that it broke his heart to tell them that no; he had no idea what...

"Hold on. Pine tree?" Stan said, raising an eyebrow and looking at the cap again. He then looked down at Dipper and sudden realization came to him. "I'm Stan Pines. You're the nerdy kid with the books... No, they were journals." Stan bit his lower lip and gasped. "Dipper!"

Dipper's jaw dropped and the corners of his mouth went up in a smile. He pumped his forearm and nodded excitedly, not being able to help a tear that escaped his eye with the commotion. Stan jumped out of the couch and kneeled down, wrapping his arms around Dipper and stroking his hair. Dipper laughed in pure joy as he wrapped his arms around Stan's neck and returned the hug.

"Yes! That's it! You got it right!"

Ford, Soos and Mabel exchanged surprised looks that soon became smiles. Mabel left the couch as they gathered around Stan and Dipper, waiting for them to finish their hug; all of them so nervous that they could hear each other's heartbeats inside their chests.

"I'm so glad you're safe!" Stan said, breaking the hug but still looking at Dipper in the eye. "I was so worried about you. I thought that that weird triangle thing was going to get you, I was so..." He closed his eyes and sighed in relief, tapping Dipper's head and smiling. "I really thought I was going to lose you two there. Wait; there are two of you, right?"

"Hey, you remembered about B- Ugh!" Dipper started to say, but before he could finish his sentence Mabel pushed him aside and he fell on the floor as she stood in front of Stan in his place, jumping in join.

"Yes, there are two of us!" Mabel smiled widely as she jumped and leaned forward, her nose almost touching Stan's, causing him to back away from her a little. "He's Dipper and I'm his twin sister Mabel! We're your niece and nephew! We defeated Bill the triangle together! You remember me!" Her smile vanished as she gave two steps backward and gasped softly, rubbing her hands together. "You _do_ remember me, right?"

"Hum, I don't know." Stanley said, rubbing his chin and looking at Mabel with a skeptical face. "Aren't you that girl who tried to sell me cookies once?"

Mabel's lip quivered, but she frowned in confusion when Stan started laughing.

"Come on, I'm just kidding. Of course I remember you, Mabel! You're not that easy to forget, girl. Especially with all those sweaters." He scoffed and opened his arms, inviting her for a hug. "Come here, give your old Grunkle Stan a-"

Before Stan could even finish his sentence, Mabel ran toward him and jumped on him with such impetus that they both fell over, she lying on top of him with her arms wrapped around his neck. He gasped when his back hit the floor with a thud, but smiled and laughed as soon as he saw the smiling girl on top of him; returning her hug by wrapping one arm around her as he used the other one to sit up on the floor.

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! You remember me! I knew you would never forget me Grunkle Stan!" Mabel said as tears left her eyes and she broke the hug to look at her great-uncle's face.

Stan smiled. "Hey, I could never forget you. You're too special for that."

Mabel smiled and tried to contain her shrieks as Stan put her on the floor and stood up, looking around and putting his hands on his waist. A few minutes before, his mind was a total blank, but he slowly started to remember everything. His niece and nephew, Soos, his mystery shack, Wendy, Bill... He remembered. He remembered everything.

"Wow… That Bill certainly messed this place up." As if on cue, a part of the ceiling gave in and fell on the floor. "You've got a lot of repair work to do here, Soos."

Ford smiled and approached Stan, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Stan, it's so good to have you have you back! I can't even believe you actually remembered everything! That was nearly impossible after we used the gun on you! Do you have any idea of what you just did? You saved the world!"

Stan chuckled awkwardly, turning to face Ford. "Uh, well, thanks. You were there with me, so I don't think I would have done it without your help. Thank you very much... What's your name again?"

Ford's smile vanished from his face as he gave a step back, shaking his head. Stan noticed it when the people around him gasped in shock and he raised an eyebrow at them, confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Come on, Stan." Ford forced a chuckle in disbelief and gulped. "You remember me too, right? Six fingers, nerd, broken glasses?"

Stan tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, thinking.

"Well, I do remember you were trapped with me in that jail that Bill made. And I think you were somehow involved in the end of the world. But I know you helped me save it, I just don't really remember how. But _who_ are you? Some sort of guide that was trapped with us? I don't think I've seen you around this town before all that chaos."

Mabel and Dipper looked at each other with worried faces, but she soon forced a laugh and approached Stan, tapping his back.

"Ha, good one, Grunkle Stan. You can stop that now."

Stan looked down at Mabel and then at Ford, raising an eyebrow as he looked back at her.

"Stop what?"

"Grunkle Stan, that's not funny." Dipper gulped, folding his arms over his chest. He tried to sound serious, but something inside of him told him that Stan wasn't joking. Still, he refused to believe Stan wouldn't remember Ford. "This is Ford. He's your-" Dipper stopped talking when Ford put a hand on his shoulder and softly pushed him a step back, as in telling him to stop talking.

Ford gulped and approached Stan again with watery eyes. "You really don't remember me, do you?"

Although Stan didn't know who that man was, he felt bad that he seemed so sad. It was almost like they were friends or something.

"No. I mean, I remember we saved the world together, but... I don't know who you are. And I don't remember seeing you before this whole mess. Was I supposed to remember you? Because if so, I'm really sorry." Stan did feel sorry for that stranger. He would feel bad for anyone who seemed to be sad, after all he wasn't heartless, but something about that specific man's sadness just broke his heart.

"It's ok." Ford sighed but forced a smile. "I... I didn't expect you to remember anything at all, so I'm just really relieved that you remember about the kids and about what happened. That's what matters. I'm sure that you'll remember me too... Eventually. _I hope_." He whispered the last part, not wanting everyone else to hear it.

"Well, I'm sure I will. Till then, why don't you tell me who you are? Maybe that will refresh my memory." Stan said with a curious smile.

Ford looked at the kids and then at Soos, all of them had sad faces and sighed. Ford cleaned his throat and made his best to seem like a proper man, straightening himself up and smoothing out his tracksuit before reaching out for Stan.

"I am Ford P., expert in paranormal events. I was sent to this town by the government to help defeat Bill. You, your niece, nephew and friends helped me a lot, and together we got rid of him. Consider me a friend." Ford nodded affirmatively, still holding a fake smile on his lips.

Mabel looked at Dipper and tilted her head to the side, nodding toward Ford, but Dipper shrugged as in to tell her he was just as clueless as she was.

Stan smiled. "Well, in that case, thank you! You know, for helping us save and the world and all. And for helping me bring my family back home safe and sound." He took Ford's hand and shook it, nodding his head in the process. Ford had to resist the urge to give Stan a hug like the kids had done, knowing that doing it would scare him away.

"You're welcome." Ford nodded as well, letting Stan's hand go.

Stan looked at him for a few more seconds before looking around. "Well, I think we better start fixing this place up if we're going to sleep here tonight. We need at least a roof over our heads. Soos, grab your tools and come with me. We have a lot of work to do." He looked at Soos and nodded toward the door, exiting the room.

"I'm on it, Mister Pines!" Soos said, jogging to get by Stan's side and leaving the room as well.

As soon as Stan couldn't see him anymore, Ford let out a tear and sighed. Mabel and Dipper looked at each other again, nodding in an unspoken agreement as they approached Ford. They watched it as Ford took his glasses off and wiped his eyes. As soon as his glasses were back on his face, he looked down at the twins and forced a smile.

"Hey, kids. Aren't you going to help Stan fix up the place?" He asked, pretending not to know what they were going to ask him.

"Why didn't you just tell Stan that you're his brother?" Mabel asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"Yeah." Dipper nodded. "A lie can confuse his head even more! Isn't it better to just tell him the truth?"

Ford looked at the twins and then at the door through which Stan had exited the room. He looked around, as if to make sure they were alone, and kneeled down.

"Listen, kids." Ford sighed and looked at them with a serious voice. "You two already know what happened with me and my brother thirty years ago. I was responsible for his disgrace. I was the reason why he was homeless and the reason why he starved for so long. Not only that, if he doesn't remember me at all, he doesn't remember that I built the portal. He doesn't even remember about what happened with my experiment back in college. Explaining all of that would confuse him much more than any lie ever could. It's better this way."

Mabel and Dipper looked down in silence as Ford stood up and turned around, starting to walk away.

"But he's going to remember you eventually, right?" Mabel asked.

Ford stopped walking and sighed again.

"I don't know." He replied without looking back at the kids. "I mean, he already remembers me, but just up to the point where I helped defeat Bill. It's like he blocked all of our past together. Maybe he just always wanted to forget about that."

Dipper tilted his head when Ford scratched the back of his neck, obviously nervous.

"Grunkle Ford?"

"Maybe it's better this way. It's better if he never remembers I'm his brother. Whenever we are together, trouble happens. And it feels good to know he doesn't hate me anymore for everything I did. He can't hate me if he doesn't remember me." Ford looked over his shoulder and smiled at the kids, hoping that would make his words more believable. After that, he kept on walking.

As we walked away, Mabel started to sob.

"Mabel?"

"This is so wrong, Dipper. Siblings weren't meant to hate or to wish they'd forget each other. They were meant to be like, like... Like us." She sighed, looking at her scrapbook on the floor. It was coincidentally open on a page that had a picture of her and Dipper.

Dipper went to pat her back as he looked at Ford and frowned.

"Hey, Grunkle Ford?"

Ford stopped walking and turned around to look at Dipper. "Yes?"

"Stan never hated you, and you know that. If he did hate you, he wouldn't have returned when you sent that letter when you hadn't seen each other in ten years. If he hated you, he wouldn't have spent thirty years trying to bring you back even after you told him to go as far away from you as possible. He never hated you, even when it seemed like you hated him." Dipper said, defiant.

Ford's eyes widened and he frowned. "You're just a kid, Pine Tree. You don't get adult stuff. Go help Stan or whatever. And you better not tell him that what I told him wasn't true... Unless you want to see him sad again."

Ford trudged away, going to another room and slamming the door closed. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other and sighed, but then Dipper smiled and playfully punched Mabel's shoulder.

"Do you want to go help Stan and Soos to fix up this mess?"

Mabel's sad face was slowly replaced by a smile as she picked her scrapbook up and hugged her brother. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

They pulled away and Dipper smiled, nodding before they left the shack side by side.

Meanwhile, Ford locked himself in the bathroom and slammed his back against the door, sliding to the ground and bringing his knees to his chest. He reached for an old picture inside his tracksuit and looked at it. It depicted young him and Stan in a small boat they had made themselves that had the words 'Stan o' War' written on it.

For most of his life, that picture was the only thing he had that reminded him of his brother. And now he was right there, but at the same time, they had never been so far away from each other.

 _He never hated you, even when it seemed like you hated him._ Dipper's words echoed through his mind like a thunder.

Ford's lip quivered and he put the picture back inside his inner pocket before taking his glasses off and sighing. Before he knew it, he had tears rolling down his eyes, and he felt like they were never going to stop. He hugged his knees and sobbed into them, trying to muffle the sound of his cry so that nobody would hear him.

 _What have I done?_

* * *

"Well, this is no mansion, but I think we did a pretty good job with the shack." Stan said, admiring how much he, the kids and Soos had managed to fix from the destroyed Shack. "It should be safe for us to sleep here tonight."

It was already past 11pm, and both Dipper and Mabel rubbed their eyes as they tried to stay awake.

"It's amazing how much you can do when you manage to do some team work with people you love." Dipper said with a yawn as he wrapped one arm around Mabel. She yawned too, but smiled at her brother.

Stan noticed how tired the kids were and approached them, kneeling down behind them and wrapping one arm around each one of them.

"Alright, we all had an exhausting day. I think you two should go to bed now and get some rest. Your birthday is after tomorrow, you don't want to be tired for that now, do you?" He smiled at them.

"We certainly don't." Mabel nodded. "You better get some rest too, Grunkle Stan. We don't want you tired tomorrow. We have a lot of things to do on our last days here, and those things include spending time with you!"

Stan chuckled and hugged Mabel. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Now go back inside, you two. It's getting cold here and you two really need to sleep. I promise I'll go to sleep soon, too."

He kissed the kids goodnight and watched it as they ran into the shack. Stan sighed and looked up at the stars. What a summer it had been with those kids. And of course there was also the demon that almost took over the world thing. As Stan looked at the fixed shack, he felt happy like he had never felt before.

However, he didn't feel complete.

It was almost like there was something missing, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he felt like there was something lacking. Stan thought that maybe it was because he hadn't gotten all of his memory back yet, and that was quite possible; but he felt like it wasn't just it.

With a sigh, he sat down on the couch that stayed outside and just watched the forest ahead; the cold wind blew and whistled softly as it made the leaves in the trees dance under the moonlight. It was so peaceful that it was hard to believe there were demons and monsters living there.

Stan was so focused on his thoughts that he didn't even hear it when the door of the shack was open.

"Stanley?"

Stan turned his head, a little startled at the sudden call, but quickly relaxed when he saw it was just his friend Ford. He was standing still on the doorway, and he looked quite tired, as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Oh, hey, Ford. I didn't know you were still here. I thought you had gone home or something."

"No, I… I was on one of the back rooms making sure every single detail of this operation had been registered properly. Government stuff, you know how those things are." He forced a chuckle and closed his eyes when the wind blew across his face. "What are you doing outside?"

"Oh, you know, just chilling a little before I go to bed."

Ford nodded. "Mind if I join you?"

Stan smiled. "Of course I don't! Come here, pal." He said as he patted the empty spot by his side on the couch.

"Thanks." Ford said as he scratched his arm, sitting down by Stan's side. It felt so weird to be by his brother's side without having his brother there at all. Stan had saved him, and he couldn't even thank him.

In fact, none of that would have happened if he had just thanked Stan in the first place.

Dipper was right. Stan never once turned his back on Ford. Even after Ford chose his college over sailing with Stan, Stan had tried to fix his project. Even after Ford turned his back on him after their father threw Stan away, Stan had come right back for him when he sent him that card. Even after their fight and everything he had ever done, Stan never gave up on him; and he never even said 'thank you'.

And now, it was too late.

"Wow, man, are you ok? Do you need any help?" Stan said, laying his hand on Ford's shoulder.

Ford shook his head and came back to reality. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that he had started crying right beside Stan. He felt his cheeks burn with the embarrassment as he wiped his eyes.

"Sorry. I just…" Ford tried to continue his sentence, but seeing his brother right there and knowing that he didn't remember him was too much. He just looked at Stan with sad eyes and then looked down; covering his face with his hands as more tears came out.

Stan gulped and frowned in confusion. "Ford? Come on, man, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Ford sniffed and looked ahead, avoiding Stan's eyes. He was ever one to talk about emotions, but maybe because he had kept all he felt bottled up for so long, he suddenly started revealing everything.

"I… I lost someone very important to me on that chaos." His lips quivered. "I lost my brother. Forever."

Stan gasped and sighed. "Oh, my; that's… That's awful. I'm so sorry, Ford. I really wish there was something I could do."

Ford gasped when he felt Stan's arms close around his shoulders. He felt like his heart was going to explode inside his chest. All he wanted to do was just give Stan a hug and tell him he was sorry. Now Stan was hugging him, but for Stan, that meant nothing.

"He was just… The best brother anyone could ever ask for." Ford said between his tears as Stan pulled away from the hug. "He was always there for me. You know, people always considered me to be the hero of the family because I was smart and whatnot. But he was the true hero. He was the hero all along."

Stan smiled, trying to comfort Ford. "He was lucky to have a brother like you, who recognized everything he did for you. I'm sure he loved you a lot."

Ford felt like someone had stabbed him in the stomach.

"I... I just…" Ford sighed. "I was the hugest asshole ever, Stan. My brother, he just… No matter what, he was there for me. I turned my back on him several times, but if I called him back, he was right there. He never said it out loud, but …"

He looked at Stan, hoping that his words would bring his memory back. But all Stan did was stay there in silence, looking at Ford's water filled eyes. Ford frowned even more and sighed again.

"I know that my brother loved me. He gave me so many proofs, yet I just… I only thought about myself and never told him how much he meant to me. And now he'll never know it, but I loved him. I really did." Ford ran his fingers through his hair and cried more, not being able to control himself.

Stan sighed. "I may not know much about you and your brother, but if you're being so emotional about him right now, I'm sure he knew you cared for him. And more, if he kept coming back for you even after you let him down, that must mean he saw some good in you that he didn't want to lose, no matter what. You must have been really special for him."

Ford felt like his whole world was being shattered to pieces. This had to be a punishment, having to listen to his brother talking about how much _Ford's brother_ must have loved him, without ever knowing he was talking about himself. Stan was there, but he was gone forever.

"I- I will go to bed now." Ford said, abruptly standing up and walking to the door. However, just before he entered the mystery shack, Stan saw that a piece of paper fell from Ford's pocket. Ford didn't seem to notice it, for he just kept walking.

"Hey, Ford, wait up." Stan said, standing up and running to get the paper before the cold wind could blow it away. "You dropped something." He said as he picked the paper up, his eyes widening when he analyzed it more deeply.

It wasn't really a paper, it was a picture. It depicted two young boys that seemed weirdly familiar to Stan. They were on a boat that said "Stan o' War". Why did that sound so familiar?

"Ow!" Stan cried out when a headache suddenly hit him. He fell to his knees and covered his head with his arms, the pounding on his head getting closer to unbearable.

"Stanley!" Ford cried out when he turned around and saw his brother on the floor. He hastened to get by his brother's side, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and shaking him softly. "Stanley, are you ok?"

Stanley felt like he blacked out for a moment, groaning when he felt like the pounding was going away. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, trying to organize the thoughts that had invaded his mind against will.

When he finally opened his eyes, he saw that Ford was standing by his side. However, it wasn't a stranger anymore.

When he opened his eyes, he saw his brother.

"Stan, are you ok?" Ford asked again as he helped Stan to get up.

"Ford…" Stan said as he panted, looking at his brother in the eye.

"Yes, Stan?"

"I… I'm sorry if I never said that I love you out loud. Believe me, I do." He laid a hand on Ford's shoulder.

Ford blinked as he processed what Stan had said, but when realization hit him, he gave the hugest smile he had even given in his life.

"You remembered me!" He yelled as he wrapped his arms around Stan and buried his face in his brother's neck. "I, I was so worried! I thought you would never remember me, and I would never have a chance to thank you, but… You're back! You're back, I can't believe it!"

"Of course I'd remember you." Stan said as he returned the hug. "You mean everything to me."

Ford quickly pulled away to look at Stan's eyes, noticing that his brother was starting to cry too. "Thank you, Stan. Thank you for everything. Screw everyone who said you were worthless. You saved the world, and you saved me!" Ford sighed and shook his head, still finding it hard to contain such happiness as he hugged his brother again. "I missed you so much."

Stan sighed in happiness, closing his eyes. "I missed you too, Poindexter. And by the way, you're welcome."

Ford laughed as they broke the hug and spent a few seconds just smiling and looking at each other.

"We better go to bed. We have to help them fix the town and also prepare everything for the twins' birthday party." Stan said, shrugging. "Can't do that if you're tired."

"You're right." Ford nodded. "See you tomorrow?"

"See yah, bro." Stan said with a smile as he turned around to go to his room. Ford turned around as well, but noticed the picture on the floor. His heart ached at the bad memories he had with Stan, but he felt warm inside when he realized that his brother was back.

He put the picture in his pocket again, this time making sure it wouldn't fall. As he went to the basement, where he was going to sleep, he thought that sailing around the world with his brother did seem to be pretty fun.

 _If he forgave me, maybe he can give me a second chance as well._ Ford thought to himself as he lay down on his bed, thinking about all the adventures they were going to have together if Stan accepted to sail away with him.

Under the blanket, he crossed his fingers, hoping his brother would say yes before he finally fell asleep.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!**


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